Spanish paradoxes

Here are some rather confusing, yet hilarious paradoxes I have come up against here in Spain:

***There are tons of commercials for these special digestive cookies that Spanish people supposedly eat all the time that are good for you (supposedly). But here's the thing they contain wheat gluten and all these other kinds of preservatives (and salt) that are horrible for you...guess what I got the whole time I was eating them? Diarrhea. Yeah, just an ironic little side effect for something that's supposed to regulate your body.

***Bathrooms in Spain almost always have soap in them, but what can you never find? Hot water! How are you supposed to kill the germs and why aren't Spanish people getting sick all the time??

***Choose wisely which kind of tissues you should buy. Ironically I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to the ones I was using when I had allergy symptoms a few days ago. Once again it defeats the purpose!

***All the fruit juices and yogurt drinks that are supposed to be extremely good for you have so much sugar in them! Which once again defeats the purpose of drinking them to get more natural sugars or calcium for that matter!

And my absolute favorite:

***No two clocks in Spain are set to the same time. Everyone's movil has a different time, the city runs on a much faster time, my senora's clock is ten minutes faster than my phone the metro is a couple minutes slower than my senora's clock and the world clock on my computer is off too! What is with you and time, Spain??? Ahhh, stop confusing me!
All that matters is that my watch is set 10 minutes faster than my phone so that I can make it back in time for lunch and dinner. The most important things in one's life, you know! ;)